Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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