I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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