escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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