two words: eviction party
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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