She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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