Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
