so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
