Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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