She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
