3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do you still have your period?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
