walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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