My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
