how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
