Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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