She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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