so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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