Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
