i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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