He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
