i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
