I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
