Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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