Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Randomize
