He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
