So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
