Did you just see the Batmobile???
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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