I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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