Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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