Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
