Rock
Scissors
Fuck
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
