Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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