Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
