i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
All the doctor said was why
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
