im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
