Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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