i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
