So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
