Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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