what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
