you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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