she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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