1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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