so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
