I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
