So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
