Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
