What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
