smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
