where am i from again
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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