please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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