It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
